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The first cut is the deepest, as the old Cat Stevens song goes.

Then again, if Cat Stevens had been writing about the first elimination episode of’s seventh season, he’d have been completely and utterly wrong, seeing how the initial four eliminations didn’t even leave a surface wound tonight. Sure, Amy Davis, Joanne Borgella, Garrett Haley, and Colton Berry all seem like sweet, likable — or, well, at least blandly inoffensive — folks. But anyone who’s planning to tune in to Fox two or three nights a week for the next 13 weeks couldn’t have been crying like Ramiele Malubay or Asia’h Epperson at any point during tonight’s program.

Poor Garrett. You kind of knew it was all over for him when the producers snuck in his totally clueless post-performance interview clip — ”I loved it, and I can tell America will love it” — in the midst of the recap of Tuesday night’s proceedings. I had expected the kid to survive into week 2 because the sheer hideousness of his ”Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” was far more memorable than, say, Jared Yeager’s ”Moon River.” But as a friend pointed out to me over IM tonight, ”Sometimes awful is just awful.”

Plus, I’m guessing Garrett’s styling issues — broke-down mop of a ‘do, ghastly wisp of a ’stache, and pale skin that had Simon worrying he’d been locked in his bedroom for a month — contributed to his early ouster. As a message board poster named Help Me pointed out, the overall effect was simply too much: ”I looked up and there was Garrett yelling at me, ‘It puts the lotion in the basket!’ ” Another reader, however, thought Garrett’s look was more Lord of the Rings than Silence of the Lambs, kidding that there was a ”warrant out for his arrest in the shire; he stole some magic potions from a wizard and now he is wanted!” Heck, even Garrett’s fans were struggling to accept his facial hair. One reader noted that while Garrett’s newbie status made him more appealing than semipros like Michael Johns and Carly Smithson, ”I really don’t think I could vote for him with that kidstache. Wax off!”

The other elimination on the men’s side was one I (and many of you) correctly predicted, and frankly, not even Colton Berry looked surprised when Ryan sent Chikezie (Eze) back to safety and set the stage for another lackluster rendition of ”Suspicious Minds.” I’ll admit I winced when Ryan asked the judges to give Colton some constructive criticism, and Simon encouraged him to go find a fulfilling job and forget a career as a professional singer, but frankly, it was exactly what Colton needed to hear. Maybe not exactly when Colton needed to hear it, but no one’s ever accused Simon of being tactful.

The weird thing for me about Colton’s elimination was the way it sent fellow contestants like Ramiele, Asia’h, and Kady into sobbing fits, while Colton’s family members (who incidentally are not courting votes from millions of Idol fans) remained totally stoic.

If anything, though, Mr. Berry’s brief Idol run proved to me that the judges picked the wrong Colton out of the top 50; Colton Swon, if you’re out there, I think you coulda been a contender! Reader Justin Castillo, meanwhile, thought Colton should’ve checked out of the running in favor of a different candidate back on top-24 judgment night: ”If I were him, I’d have told Kyle [Ensley], ‘Congratulations! You’re gonna be the youngest U.S. president in American history.’ Then I’d have put that elevator in reverse to tell the judges and producers that the final spot should go to Mr. Ensley.”

Coincidentally, the eliminations of Colton and Joanne meant that the last two contestants chosen to be semifinalists by the judges (both in head-to-head matchups) were two of the first to be axed. Joanne’s ouster wasn’t a surprise to most EW.com message-board posters, who were totally underwhelmed by her vocals on ”Say a Little Prayer” Wednesday night. In fact, dozens upon dozens of you picked Joanne and Amy as both most likely to go home and most deserving of going home.

Tags: Entertaiment

If Showtime keeps at it, HBO won't be the only "not TV" TV network for long.  

The other premium cable channel announced Thursday that Edie Falco has been tapped to star in an as-yet untitled dark comedy in which she'll play a streetwise New York nurse. 

À la Weeds' Nancy Botwin, although with a more kosher career, Falco's character will have to juggle the demands of her job with her tumultuous, made-for-cable personal life. 

A pilot penned by Linda Wallem (The Comeback), Liz Brixius and Evan Dunsky is heading into preproduction immediately, Showtime said, meaning Falco, who just picked up her third SAG Award honoring her final season of work as a mob boss' embattled wife on The Sopranos, isn't one to sit back and rest on her dramatic laurels.  

"My time on The Sopranos was so rich and so full; the challenge has been finding something else that would excite me," the Brooklyn-born Falco said.

The 44-year-old actress, also a three-time Emmy winner for her role as the feisty yet loyal Carmela Soprano, displayed a keen flair for the comedic recently in a guest arc on 30 Rock, playing the liberal oil to Jack Donaghy's conservative water, Democratic congresswoman Celeste "C.C." Cunningham. 

Falco's half-hour offering will presumably add to Showtime's increasingly impressive roster of intelligent and provocative programming, which in addition to Weeds includes the critically acclaimed Dexter, Brotherhood, The Tudors and Californication.

"The opportunity to explore the human fallout from out broken medical system in this compelling single-camera comedy for Showtime was an incredibly exciting proposition," said Kevin Beggs, president of Production and Programming for Lionsgate Television, which will coproduce along with Showtime. 

"That we will be doing so with the peerless Edie Falco as our heroine elevated the opportunity exponentially. It is our privilege to be working with Edie and the talented creative team that will bring this to life."

"Bada bing is all I can think of to say," added Showtime Entertainment president Robert Greenblatt.

On The Daily Show, the host saves his comedic indignation for the political world, with himself playing faux-naïve newsman, puzzling through mounting hypocrisies.

There are plenty of targets in Hollywood’s Oscar audience, too. But there’s one thing missing: real power (except maybe to give a picture the greenlight).

“There is a certain sense of sadness, isn’t there?” joked Stewart Thursday in his cramped Kodak Theatre dressing room. ” ‘Damn it, we are the center of the universe!’ Well, we hate to tell you this, but … as it turns out, until you get uranium-tipped bunker busters, you’re just a bunch of people making movies.”

So, much as he does on his Comedy Central show when a situation is ridiculous but the participants benign, Stewart himself can serve as material. When he hosted in 2005, the year Crash won, he held the harshest jokes for himself. The 45-year-old comedian has made a lot of fun out of his anti-movie-star status. (The 2002 black-comedy bomb Death to Smoochy is among his few film credits.) But the guy who self-deprecates that he’s merely a late-night cable TV host is often regarded as this generation’s premier satirist.

The Oscar-hosting role, however, is one he seems to take very seriously. “For me, it really is a great night for the people there, honoring the best work in their field,” Stewart says. “My job, for the most part, is just be funny. Be simple and funny and try … not to make this thing go five hours.”

It’s tough to craft material since the nominated films are mainly art-house fare, and nominated No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood are brutal and downbeat. “There’s a lot of feel-good stuff,” Stewart jokes. “They’re a lot like Porky’s.”

“I’m glad, though, that they keep bringing me back on the years when the movies are so much more ‘indie,’ ” he says, with only a slight hint of sarcasm. “That’s a delightful challenge.”

As far as the stars in the audience, Stewart says his role isn’t to deflate oversized egos. “It’s not about viewing it in that Terminator format, slicing up targets and firing away. It’s what are our best 15 jokes,” he says. “It’s very little, ‘I’m going to get THAT guy!’ “

He sees value in not overflowing with cynicism, perhaps a lesson learned from seeing the criticism heaped on previous hosts for being overly harsh.

“The world has become such a snark-fest at this point that I think there is value in not just spraying the bushes with napalm,” he says. “Things lose their value when they’re not applied with discretion.”

Still, expect some political material, his specialty. (”I’ve got some great Nixon-McGovern stuff,” he kids.)

But mostly he’s focusing on the movies themselves. “If I’m performing in front of dentists, you want to go to your cavity material,” he jokes. “I once performed in front of the people who developed (anti-cholesterol drug) Lipitor. I had a lot of Eggbeater stuff in there.”

BE KIND REWIND. Comedy about two slacker friends who remake classic movies. With Jack Black, Mos Def. Director: Michel Gondry (1:41). PG-13: Sexual references. At area theaters.

With every new feat of whimsy, director Michel Gondry (”Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”) imagines something we’ve never seen before. His latest comedy - which he also wrote - offers the most intriguing concept to be found onscreen in ages.

And that’s what makes it such a disappointment.

It’s not that “Be Kind Rewind” is a terrible movie. It’s just an average one - which is the last thing we expect from an iconoclast like Gondry.

Really, it’s hard to think of a better starting point than this: Mos Def plays Mike, a New Jersey video-store clerk who works for old-fashioned Mr. Fletcher (Danny Glover). When Mike’s best friend, Jerry (Jack Black), accidentally becomes magnetized (long story), he erases every tape in the shop. With angry customers lining up, the two agree to remake any request, from “King Kong” to “Ghostbusters” to “Driving Miss Daisy.”

Genius, right?

Well, it should be, and we do get glimpses of brilliance from a filmmaker whose worlds barely resemble reality as we know it.

The gruff characters in Mr. Fletcher’s dangerous neighborhood are so thrilled by Mike and Jerry’s remakes that they beg for more, preferring a 20-minute, made-on-the-cheap “Lion King” to the real thing. They revere artists like Fats Waller, support local businesses instead of chain stores and actively impede Hollywood greed (represented by studio suit Sigourney Weaver).

This is, in other words, a movie made by a man madly in love with the democratic promise of film. So why does it feel half-finished? Why do most of the actors (including a flaky Mia Farrow) sleepwalk through their roles? And can’t we have some semblance of logic or continuity, even within the script’s cheerful anarchy? Only a devilish Black captures the state of creative joy that should be this movie’s defining trait.

To be fair, some of the reconstructed films are cleverly done - though few make the impact they should. The movie’s Web site (bekindmovie.com) encourages us to share our own remakes; it seems Gondry knows how much potential remains in his still-untapped idea.

VANTAGE POINT. Thriller unravelling a conspiracy involving an assassination and a suicide bombing in a crowded Spanish square. With Dennis Quaid, William Hurt, Forest Whitaker, Sigourney Weaver. Director: Peter Travis (1:30). PG-13: Language, violence. At area theaters.

Other than an annoying recurring clock graphic and a fixed scowl on Dennis Quaid’s face, Peter Travis’ “Vantage Point” is about as smooth, fast-moving and enjoyable an action thriller as you’re likely to see this year.

“Vantage Point” shows us an assassination attempt and explosion in a crowded Spanish square, and then repeats those events from eight points of view - including those of a Secret Service man (Quaid), the U.S. President (William Hurt), a sharp-eyed tourist (Forest Whitaker) armed with a camcorder, and some of the terrorists responsible.

First-time screenwriter Barry Levy has taken that relatively simple idea and turned out an almost perfectly constructed puzzle, with each retelling of the events adding detail that ultimately creates a clear picture of a complex conspiracy.

Our original view of the events comes from an American network’s control van, where Sigourney Weaver’s Rex Brooks is directing a dozen cameras covering the arrival of the President for a summit meeting.

Spotting Secret Service agent Thomas Barnes, Brooks has an assistant pull up an archived shot of an assassination attempt in which Barnes took a bullet while saving the President’s life. His return to service, still suffering posttraumatic stress, looks like the day’s human-interest story.

But then all hell breaks loose, and before the dust settles, the film is rewinding back to the beginning, to a clock turning to noon, and then starts up again from another person’s view. (About the third time we’re returned to the clock, we expect to hear Sonny and Cher singing “I Got You Babe” and then some deejay yelling, “Groundhog Day!”)

“Vantage Point” ultimately turns into a chase film, and a dandy it is, with cars whacking each other at improbable speeds through the narrow streets of beautiful Salamanca (establishing shots are of Salamanca, but the action was filmed in Mexico City).

Levy’s attempt at a political message is the murkiest point of view of all. But you don’t have much time to think about that or anything else. Your vantage point is from the front seat of a roller coaster, and you’re moving just that fast.

jmathews@nydailynews.com

Brad & Angie to Pax: You’re Officially One of Us!

Posted Feb 21st 2008 3:01PM by TMZ Staff

TMZ has learned Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have officially adopted little Pax Thien.We’ve learned they went to L.A. County Children’s Court in Monterey Park, Calif. yesterday and appeared before a judge who finalized Pax’s adoption.The adoption was a two-step process. First, the adoption had to be approved in Vietnam, where Pax was born. The second step was getting an L.A. judge to approve the adoption — that was done yesterday.A rep for Angie tells us the Jolie-Pitts were literally celebrating at the courthouse. Mama Jolie walked out with a teddy bear — a private foundation gives a stuff animal to every family that goes to Children’s Court.Hey Pax — you’re officially one of the luckiest young’uns alive!

Parking attendant who claims Omar Sharif punched him wins lawsuit

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Friday, February 22nd 2008, 4:00 AM

LOS ANGELES - Dr. Zhivago’s gotta dig deep.

A parking lot attendant who claimed he was punched by acting great Omar Sharif has won $318,000 in damages

A judge entered a default judgment Tuesday in favor of Juan Luis Ochoa Anderson when the actor failed to show for a deposition.

Sharif, 75, pleaded no contest last year to misdemeanor battery and was ordered to take an anger management course for the 2005 incident outside a Beverly Hills steakhouse.

The civil suit alleged the Egyptian-born actor known for roles in “Dr. Zhivago” and “Lawrence of Arabia” was drunk and called Anderson, a Guatemalan immigrant, a “stupid Mexican” when he refused to accept a 20-euro note.

Anderson alleged Sharif then punched him.

A daisy-chain dystopia filmed by three directors, The Signal combines the inconstancy of an omnibus film with the blandness of art by committee. The end result feels less like a blend of distinct styles than an opportunistic hodgepodge, a second-hand premise wedded to an attention-grabbing gimmick.In the city of Terminus, madness has broken out, spawned by a mysterious TV broadcast that resembles an overactive lava lamp. Peaceful citizens become bloodthirsty berserkers, and minor quarrels rapidly turn homicidal. Too busy canoodling to turn on the flat screen, Mya (Anessa Ramsey) and Ben (Justin Welborn) escape the initial infection, but Mya’s jealous, brutish husband, Lewis (A.J. Bowen), is among to first to succumb to what one character calls “the crazy.” Separated by fate, the lovers make their way toward a bloody, battered reunion as the world goes steadily mad around them.Although they differ in scope, The Signal’s first and last segments, directed by David Bruckner and Dan Bush, are united in their glum, seedy tone, which is mirrored by the movie’s muddy images. For the middle section, set at what remains of a middle-aged couple’s New Year’s Eve party, director Jacob Gentry takes a distinctly different approach, veering away from straight horror and into blood-spattered comedy.

According to People magazine, Jennifer Lopez gave birth early Friday (February 22) to twins, making the pop star and actress a first-time mom.

The babies — a girl and a boy, delivered in that order — were born on Long Island, New York, and weighed in at 5 pounds and 7 ounces, and 6 pounds, respectively. The newborns are husband Marc Anthony’s third and fourth children.

Lopez’s pregnancy was once a closely guarded, yet poorly kept, secret that provided ample ammunition for rampant online media speculation — that is, until Lopez confirmed her pregnancy back in November, during a concert in Miami. It was the last stop on the couple’s joint U.S. tour, and the last of a sold-out three-night stand.

“Marc and I are expecting a baby,” she told the crowd at the packed American Airlines Arena. “We didn’t want to say anything before because we didn’t want to take away from the tour. This is a special time in our lives. And we waited until the last show to tell you.” She then added that the couple would now “go away for a while.”

According to reports, Lopez’s public pregnancy announcement caught her husband off-guard. When the pop star broke the news, she turned to her husband and said, “I hope you don’t mind.” Anthony reportedly shrugged his shoulders, caressed Lopez’s belly and leaned over to kiss it, saying, “No, I don’t mind at all. … I didn’t know she was going to talk.”

Earlier this month, her father, David Lopez, spilled the beans about the singer expecting twins during an appearance on Spanish-language station TeleFutura’s “Escandalo TV.”

“Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon,” Lopez’s manager Simon Fields told People. Lopez, 39, and Anthony, 38, were married in 2004.

“Everyone has such a crush on Juno,” says Jeanne Wolf, Hollywood columnist on US lifestyle website Parade.com.

“I don’t think anyone at the Kodak Theatre would faint if it took the Oscar. It is a long, long, long shot, but people just love it.”

But flirting with Oscar success is as close as the quirky-but-cute film is likely to get to the main prize at Sunday’s ceremony.

While there is a palpable vibe about the coming-of-age pregnancy flick, Academy members vote with their head as well as their heart.

To win, Juno would have to get past Atonement, Michael Clayton, There Will be Blood and No Country for Old Men - which all richly deserve their nominations.

And the buzz on Hollywood Boulevard sees all bets placed on No Country For Old Men, the decidedly darker offering from Joel and Ethan Coen.

The thriller, about a hunter who finds a $2m stash of drug money, has already won a string of awards, including top prizes from the Critics’ Choice Awards as well as the producers’, writers’, actors’ and directors’ guilds.

Jeffery Wells, of website Hollywood Elsewhere, is adamant the whimsical Juno is no rival for some of the more serious contenders.

“You have to look at the guilds, and it’s been No Country all the way,” he says.

“It is ridiculous to think Juno is a better film. People who are serious about film, and don’t vote for their own whimsical reasons, know that.”

Even Wolf knows that while her heart lies with Juno, her money would be safer elsewhere.

“The smart money is on No Country For Old Men,” she says. “All kinds of things come into play for the voters, but any wisdom will tell you that it will go to No Country For Old Men based on how many awards they have taken so far this year.

“I have affection for each of these movies in their own way. I also have huge admiration for No Country, and Michael Clayton, which has had a great comeback.”

For Los Angeles Times film critic Tom O’Neil, the best picture result is a “no brainer”.

“Oscar voters tend to vote for best film based on who the director is and there is a strong feeling in Hollywood that this is the year of the Coen brothers,” he says.

“Of course there is always space for jaw-droppers - just look at the year Juliette Binoche beat Lauren Bacall to the Oscar - which show what bull-headed, contrary voters these people can be.”

British hopes this year are resting on Daniel Day-Lewis and Julie Christie in the best actor and best actress categories.

Christie’s touching performance as a woman struck by Alzheimer’s in Away From Her makes Christie, who won her only Oscar for Darling in 1965, the sentimental favourite.

But Marion Cotillard, who beat Christie at this year’s Baftas, has been hailed for her gutsy performance as French singer Edith Piaf.

“Everyone is betting on Julie Christie to win, and she’s making this big Oscar comeback after 42 years, but I think we may see an upset with Marion Collitard for La Vie En Rose,” says O’Neil.

“Collitard portrays a real person, like Helen Mirren did for the Queen, and the Oscar voters love that.”

Day-Lewis plays a ruthless oil baron in Paul Thomas Anderson’s There Will Be Blood and while he remains the favourite, his main barrier is being up against Hollywood golden boy George Clooney, explains O’Neil.

“Everyone considers Daniel Day-Lewis as a shoo-in but I’d watch Clooney,” he says.

“Hollywood is Clooney-crazy - they think he’s so cool and he handles himself with great panache - and the reason they love Michael Clayton is because of him.

“And there is a parallel that I think Daniel Day-Lewis should be wary about.

“The last time a best British actor nominee won every award in the run up to the Oscars was Bob Hoskins for Mona Lisa, and he ended up losing out to Paul Newman for The Color of Money.”

In the best supporting actor category, O’Neil considers No Country’s Javier Bardem a dead-cert, but the field for best supporting actress - Cate Blanchett, Ruby Dee, Saoirse Ronan, Amy Ryan, and Tilda Swinton - is wide open.

But the biggest guess hanging over this year’s Oscars is the entertainment value of the actual ceremony.

Ratings for the ceremony have fallen in recent years, with 2006’s show, hosted by satirical comedian Jon Stewart, earning the second-smallest audience since 1998.

“The Oscar telecasts that get the most viewers are the ones where big blockbusters are up for awards, like Titanic and Lord of the Rings,” says O’Neil.

“Blockbusters are missing this year, and Jon Stewart is back again. The combination could mean it is a ratings disaster.”

One thing that could save the ceremony from viewing doldrums is the recently-resolved writers’ strike that threatened to derail the whole event.

O’Neil says: “Let’s hope people tune in just to see what was almost denied to them.”

Tags: Entertaiment